TOP STORY/WILD HUNT ANNOUNCEMENT: Citizens of Noaxis BEWARE! The Wild Hunt prepares its annual activities across the world! For thirty six hours, fae will reenact their arrival into the world and hunt all those marked as prey! If you have no reason to be out and about, local officials plead you to stay indoors, lock your doors, and board your windows! “Unless you’re incredibly capable or incredibly stupid, don’t try it!” Enclave blacksmith and Representative Big Orrund commented. After attempting to sneakily weasel in a compelling sales pitch to our newsboy, Big Orrund finished with a succinct message: “It’s not worth it!” Increased sightings of fae and that scourge of the trails, Drumbo Dan, have been reported. “Drumbo Dan has seemingly gotten more ‘feral’ since his last sighting.” A local hunter has commented. “Don’t be fooled: he’s more dangerous than he was before even if he’s more reckless.” The paper was able to interview a member of the Wild Hunt’s organization committee, who after agreeing to a short interview said the following: “You know the rules, you know how the game is played. Obviously we will be more interested in what we’d refer to as ‘bigger prey’, but if you are not a hunter, you are prey. If you are a hunter, you engage in the hunt when called upon to do so. I do not see the stigma as so many of you mortals seem to.” Needless to say, one Convaligen follower, a local man named Henson had this to say: “If you can’t disappear like us, just f-ing run.” This paper does not condone the inclusion of swearing as we cater to many audiences, but this editor felt it pertinent to include due to the severity of the situation, as it is every year. Stay safe, and we’ll hopefully see you next edition.
MISCHIEF MAYHEM: The Mischief strikes again! Reports have reached this paper of the harrowing events of last month's labyrinth cave in, now believed to be acts of sabotage by the Mischief! Pathfinders were trapped in the depths along with the cult’s leader, a being known as Waa’waa’nooji who some are claiming is indeed a daemon! Her followers, known as the Mischief, are at large and continue to cause disruption and chaos on the island. Of immense concern is the location of Zale representative and champion, The Commander. “We are taking the disappearance of the Commander as a serious matter.” Captain Arlux, representative of Zale told the paper. “Justice will be served and this daemon will be brought low, as all daemons should.” If that were not enough, members of the Mischief have been seen with increased activeness and boldness, their actions becoming more brazen by the day!
LOCAL RUMOUR: This editor has been collecting reports over the past several months that seem to suggest a local being known as “the Carrion Prophet”. A large woman wreathed in an aura of death, she is rumoured to reek of rotting death. Hunters claim to have seen her on the trails, in the dark of night, and even in the middle of fields, but the singular throughline is her stink of corpses and her presence near the dead. While the rumours are conflicting in nature, all of them share the above details. Is it just a wives tale told to terrify children? Or is there something more sinister at work here? This editor is intrigued to learn what comes of this rumour and the mysteries surrounding it!NATURE CORNER: Wiinisi Island has a great variety of flora and fauna unique to its shores, in particular when it comes to its hypnohopper population. A great deal of hypnohopper of many shapes and sizes live on the island and call it home, from the rocky cliff-like shores, to the vast forests, and the verdant fields. Keep an eye out and you too might see some of the island’s wonders!“THE NATURE CORNER IS A SHAM!”: “Hypnohoppers are a rare monster found solitarily: they are highly aggressive and territorial. Where the writer of this addition to the paper received such information this concerned citizen does not know, but I simply could not stand by after reading last month's Nature Corner! The nerve of some people!” - Cornwallis, Republic Scouting Corp Researcher
WHEEL OF RANDOM BULLSHIT!!!: Come on down to the Docks to take a spin and test your luck at the WHEEL OF RANDOM BULLSHIT! (Trademark Pending) We’ll be open during the Saturday market, so bring two currency of your choosing and SPIN! THAT! WHEEL!!! -Nolgoubela StormbuckleMONTHLY FORTUNE: FROM THE CARDS: “A clouded mind can be as dangerous as a keenly aware one. Fortune favours the bold… but sometimes running is a valid option.” LUNAR FORTUNE: “The moon is full these dark and cold nights. The woods will be teeming with opportunity, but only for those courageous enough to look for it.”- Monthly Fortune Provided by Salazar the Scandalous, former High Priest of Zatkin. For personal fortune readings please inquire. RATES: 10 Whims/Gems per reading, per person, per day. Will not accept Mana. ADVERTISEMENT: “Need a package delivered? A letter to arrive promptly? Call upon the Messenger’s Guild! With branches and services in every corner of the realms, we promise speedy delivery times with a smile, every time! Hassle free and no questions asked, the Messenger’s Guild is looking forward to hauling your packages and parcels! Now with carriers operating out of Wiinisi Island!*Note: all packages require a service and handling fee to be delivered”
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Would you like to purchase ad space? Talk to Flynt Inkifingers at the Rumour Mill Office on Wiinisi Island for further information! (It’s the shed nearby Peggy’s Ladle) We’ll put LITERALLY ANYTHING here for three gems/whims/mana! NOTE: Office is closed during gatherings; do not disturb me. Your continued support keeps the printing press running and the papers flying!See you next month, rumour mongers!
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